Networking events are places where we're meeting new people and creating new business opportunities for ourselves, and others, but how do we do it without breaking into the conversations of others? No, no one likes burglars, so let's learn the body language of the group and the dos and don'ts at a networking event.
A burglar at a networking event can be a whole new concept for you. It is a person who ignores other people and their body language and breaks into a previously created group, joining the conversation without invitation. This person may seem rude or obtrusive: they will do a lousy first impression, and as they say, the first impression is the key.
Factors to consider
Many factors are affecting how people behave at a networking event. These can include the following:
- lack of preparation
- good or bad attitude to networking events
- confidence or lack of confidence
- the set main goal of that person.
Burglars are confident, and usually, their goal is to sell their own services and products, and networking events are just like hunting to them. Certainly, you can be a burglar and not know it when you lack the knowledge and awareness on how to behave among a large group of people you don’t know.
As networking events can be stressful, thanks to the information below, it will be easier for you to assess the dynamics of the relationship in a group. You will learn useful and real-life information that will take your networking to a higher level.
How to read body language of a group?
The main skill that will help you avoid being a networking burglar is to learn to read other people’s body language. Some people have a powerful intuition and can correctly assess a person’s body language without realizing that they have just made a decision. If it’s not as easy for you, I have good news. It is a skill that can be learned.
Verbal communication accounts for as much as 20-30% of all communication, and the remaining 70% of information is conveyed by tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact, gestures and body language.
Our body language includes gestures, posture, head, hands and whole-body movements. It is worth it to observe people in groups, to learn important information about the dynamics of the relationship in that group but keep in mind, sometimes what we say can be contrary to our body language! This happens when we are nervous and clench our fists tightly, but when asked ‘Are you OK?’ we answer ‘Yes’.
There are different categories that distinguish body language, thanks to which we can learn by reading the signals sent by the person to better.
Symbols
These are gestures that work as a word, e.g. OK (thumbs up). Keep in mind, however, that these symbols, although some are the same around the world, can mean different things in other cultures (showing two fingers, the index and the middle, with the back of the hand to a Pole, will mean a number 2, but it can cause a quarrel and offence when shown to the British!)
Illustrators
Gestures that help us present our message, e.g. indicating a direction with a nod.
Adapters
By taking a look and seeing certain adapters, it is easy to recognize how a person is feeling at the moment. These are gestures such as biting nails, shifting glasses nervously, or scratching the hand. Seeing them, we will know how nervous is that person and behave appropriately to the situation.
Posture
Postures can be either closed or open. Each of them can show us the level of confidence, their status or their interest in the other person. For example, someone with crossed arms may be closed to the opinion of another person, and someone else with open arms and hands expresses more interest.
Mirroring
People who understand each other well, are interested in their experiences and accept each other, may unconsciously duplicate their posture. When one of them changes their body position, the other person will do the same thing a moment later.
How to identify a group's body language – is open or closed and what is the difference?
Let’s start with a closed group. It is a group in which people stand together: as a couple – opposite each other, in a group of 3 – in a closed triangle, and in larger groups – in a closed square or circle, standing side by side. You could even say there’s not enough room to swing a cat. In such groups, the conversation takes place between people who already are in this group, and it does not accept new members. Keep this in mind!
On the other hand, there are open groups that you can approach and join during an ongoing conversation. In this case, you’ll see, two people standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder, not opposite each other; in a group of 3, people are also standing side by side, but not forming a closed triangle – as if they lacked one person to close a square.
While at the networking event, look around and check what are the dynamics among people around you. Think about what the group wants to convey with their body language?
An exception to the rule
OK, you are at a networking event and the groups are already formed, and they all seem to be closed groups. Can you really NOT join them?
The best way to join, in this case, a large closed group is when you know someone who is already there. Your acquaintance will be able to invite you in and even introduce you to the other members. However, if this does not happen, don’t worry, introduce yourself! Being invited to a conversation by a person you know will give you the benefit of the doubt.
On the other hand, if you are the organizer of this event, it will be your responsibility to introduce yourself and get to know the guests. In this case, nothing stops you from joining even a closed group.
Changing group dynamics
When more people join the group and some people move on, the body language of the group will change constantly from open to closed, and from closed to open. Imagine a group of 4 people standing side by side, forming a square. No one will be able to join this group easily, but because the conversation will change regularly, one person can slowly open the group with their body language, inviting more people to the conversation.
How do I learn reading body language?
The best way to learn the skill of reading people is to practice. During the next networking event, before you dive into meeting new people, stop and look around you at already created groups. Who is talking to whom? Did they form an open or closed group? What is their body language saying? Thanks to a conscious practice, you’ll be able to assess the meeting dynamics faster and faster.
What about your body language?
You have to remember that people will also judge you and your body language, so it’s important to be aware of how you stand, what gestures you use, and what you look like to another person. If you want to meet new people and build relationships, try to show openness and interest in another person with your posture.
Fun Fact
Everyone who lives in a big city, in particular, the capital, will know how crowded public transport can be in a rush hour.
For example, in London, the underground is so crowded at rush hour that strangers are very intimately close together, and an interesting phenomenon associated with this is that almost no one speaks. They don’t seem to notice one another. None makes an eye or any other non-verbal contact.
We can guess that it is because noticing strangers in our intimate space makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, and that is why we prefer to ignore it.
