Is it even possible to see through a lie? Some people will be able to sense a lie much easier than others. However, it is possible for the rest of us to learn how to do it. So, how to tell if someone is lying?
We don’t even realise how many times we are lied to during the day. Psychologist Jerald Jellison from the University of Southern California published research in which he proved that we are lied to up to two hundred times a day!
Lying Myths
- People look left when they lie – although there are studies to prove this claim, this test is not 100% effective.
- Liars don’t look you in the eye when lying – quite the opposite! A lying person can look you right in the eye due to curiosity and a desire to confirm whether you believed what they said.
- Children are the best liars – children up to eight years of age cannot lie, even though they try. They learn everything at a later age.
- We find most lies in e-mails, text messages etc. – we should not generalise. We don’t really lie because the opportunity presents itself, but it mostly depends on what we want to achieve.
How to tell if someone is lying to you?
If you suspect someone is lying, there are several steps you can take to find this out. It may happen that during a meeting, your intuition will send you weird signals that you don’t know exactly what they mean. In this case, check these steps out to see if what you are hearing is true:
Start by asking neutral questions – this first step is crucial if you suspect you are being lied to. Look closely at how the other person behaves when talking about something neutral, what is his body language, voice, movements.
Watch closely and find the pressing point – once you’ve established their behaviour baseline, start asking questions about the topic where you think they’re lying. Notice any change in behaviour, even the smallest one.
Pay attention to body language changes – when we lie, our body language changes and movements can reveal nervousness. It is worth paying attention to the whole body language, and see whether the person has closed their posture, started to move more/less and shows different gestures.
Examine the facial expressions – notice any rapid breathing, blinking, or on the contrary, when the blinking has almost completely stopped. Maybe they bit their lip or their eyelid twitched? Any of these changes from normal behaviour could indicate a lie.
Listen to the tone of your voice and the sentences being spoken – notice if the sentences suddenly become very long or short, the tone of the speech has changed. Check if the other party starts speaking faster or slower, louder or softer than normal.
Pay attention to when they stop talking about themselves – a person who is lying subconsciously removes himself from the story, and therefore they will try to avoid talking about themselves during the talk.
Remember that each person behaves differently when they lie, which is why it is so hard to find one best way to discover lies. In these situations, it is important to establish a neutral (normal) behaviour pattern and compare it to the behaviour when you believe someone is lying.
People lie for many reasons that are not usually used to hurt others. In most cases, lying happens when we want to avoid something, protect the other person or ourselves, show ourselves in a better light in the eyes of others, or achieve a goal. We lie even when we want to play a joke on someone! The most important thing, however, is that we typically don’t want to hurt anyone. Imagine a world where everyone would only tell the truth! Life would be way too complicated.
